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Patty Weezmer

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1, 2, 3, 4
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Unknown, probably 45-50
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Patricia "Patty" Whore Weezmer is a daytime hooker (which gave her the nickname, "Patty the Daytime Hooker) living in Camden County. She had a teenage son who she was putting through hairdressing school ("Earl and Joy's Anniversary").

Every year, Earl booked Patty for Randy's birthday.

Family Edit

Mother: Grizelda Weezmer

Father: Chasing Squirrel

Before Season 1Edit

Patty was trapped in a phone booth due to an outbreak of killer bees with Darnell, Catalina and Kenny James in 2000, a while before they all knew each other. During this time, Patty agreed to have sex with Darnell without charging him for it; something she had always wanted to do. ("Earl and Joy's Anniversary").

Season 1Edit

When Earl first stared his list the first thing the first person he wanted to cross off was Kenny, after watching him for a few days Earl noticed Kenny seem lonely so he decided to get Patty to go round his house to have sex with him but because Kenny was gay he wasn't interested in her ("Pilot").

Patty was one of the guests invited to Joy and Darnell's wedding ("Joy's Wedding").

Billy Reed had paid Patty to let him suck her feet in his car. when Billy was about to do so Patty saw his ferret and freaked out ("Dad's Car").

While Patty was being charged for taking money for sex, she clarified to the judge what she did exchange sex for; She was taking burgers for sex, curly fries for a diddle, and a pickle for a lookey. It was her Tuesday afternoon special. Her attorney asks for a plea bargain, and the Judge grants a five minute recess. Later, she runs from the Judges chambers yelling "Outta my way, I'm not going to jail for a cheeseburger-handy!" She then gets tackled by two bailiffs. After the recess the Prosecutor accuses Patty of soliciting sex from a uniformed officer in the middle of the day. Patty says that is a lie. The Prosecutor then plays Police Dash Cam footage of Patty on the hood of the car asking "I know you're a uniformed officer, and it's the middle of the day, but would you like to have sex with me for money?" Her counsel resigns. The Judge sentences her to a $500 fine in which she asks "Any chance you want to take it out in trade? I'll let you take a ride the 'Patty-wagon", Whooo!" ("BB").

Earl was trying to return $10 he stole from Paul but didn’t know who he was at the time as he didn’t see his face, luckily Iqball still kept security tapes on the day it happened. Iqball didn’t speak English at the time so Patty had to translate everything he said to Earl. As they were looking at the tapes Iqball saw footage of Patty giving him horse rides around the store and told Earl to fast forward that part, Patty told him he had nothing to be ashamed about. Earl soon recognised Paul on the footage and so did Patty as they were in the same book club. While Joy was doing Patty's nails she tells her to stop biting on them, Patty replies "Don't tell me, tell the Mayor, he's a nibbler." After Earl had lost his lottery ticket it landed near Patty but she didn't notice it and the ticket flew away again ("Number One").

Season 2Edit

Revealed she has a Master's Degree.

Season 3Edit

Patty reveals she spent most of her thirties in a coma.

Season 4Edit

Patty played a role in Buddy's film "2 the Max" ("The Magic Hour").

When Carl Hickey split from his wife, he went to see Patty, thinking she was a simple waitress, but Earl told him that Patty was a prostitute ("Monkeys Take a Bath").

Reveals that the Crazy Witch Lady is her mother.

Memorable quotesEdit

  • Patty: Nighttime waitress, daytime hooker.
  • Patty: I'm a whore.
  • Patty: I even pulled out my good boob!
  • Joy: I'm sweatin' like a whore in church! No offense, Patty.

Patty: None taken. I don't go to church.


  • Patty has a Masters Degree but not specified what type.
  • Patty spent time with the Peace Corps near Catalina's home town.
  • Patty got a 1600 on her SAT.
  • Was in a coma for most of her thirties
  • Patty's mother is the Crazy Witch Lady

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