Earl sits down and introduces himself before explaining about The List and says that he cannot remember the names of everyone who he caused problems for and so he is using the internet to try to connect with them. He picks out a blonde woman whose wallet he stole, and says to email him at firstname.lastname@example.org so he can make it up to them.
Hello. My name is Earl and I don't know much about computers, but I have this List. I used to be kind of a crappy guy and now I'm trying to make up for that. Unfortunately I was so crappy I don't even know everybody's name that I crapped on or where to find them, so I'm hoping that if you're out there, you'll find me. Now, [reading from the list] if you're a blonde woman with a mole just above your buttcrack who made out in the flatbead of an El Camino at a Def Leppard concert who had her wallet stolen, please email "email@example.com" so that I can make it up to you. And for what it's worth, that thumb thing was an accident. Thank you.
Randy talks to the web cam saying how Darnell told him how to use it and that Darnell told him how the internet answers questions. So asks why the keyboard is not in alphabet order, requesting that the president should cut Texas and California in half and move Hawaii and Alaska there, the difference between a mule and donkey, what to really say at the end of a pray, asking about who shot J.R.? and if honeycomb cereal was still being made.
Hi I'm Randy Hickey, but this is Josh's computer that Joy my brother's ex-wife took after he died. But Darnell, Joy's new husband, told me I could use the computer as long as I didn't tell Joy about it. I don't know much about computers but my friend Darnell, you know the guy I told you about early he showed me how to turned it on and how if I look in that little camera and talk in to this microphone I'll be on the internet. I've heard of the internet but I was never really sure of what it was for, but then Darnell told me how you can ask the internet anything you want and it has to tell you the answer. I got really excited when I heard that cause I'm always thinking of a lot of questions. The first question I have is about the typewriter part of the computer, how come it's not in alphabet order? When your a kid the alphabet is one of the first things they teach you. Took a really long time to learn but I did learn it and I still know it. But now I feel like learning it was a big waste of time because the only time I need to use knowing what order the letter was in was when I was trying to type. But for some reason the Q is where the A is supposed to be and the J is where the Q is supposed to be and the H is where the a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o P is supposed to be. Anyways I don't know why they just put the letters the right order or maybe just teach kids the typewriter alphabet instead of the regular alphabet which there doesn't seem to be any use for anyhow. So if anybody at the internet know a president maybe they could suggest that to him and if you do talk to the president tell him as I was looking at a map of America and I noticed that Texas and California are a lot bigger than other states. So it seems that he could just cut them in half and they'll still be bigger than most of the states. That way he could put Hawaii and Alaska there so they could be part of America for real. Then people who don't like to fly or ride boats could get to visit Alaska and Hawaii. I guess that's not really a question, I hope that's OK Darnell didn't tell me all the rules. But another question I have is what's the difference between a mule and a donkey? Is it that one is a boy and one is a girl and if so which is which and what's a jackass? Also when I'm done praying am I supposed to say amen or arrmen? Let's see what else do I want to know? Oh yeah when I was a little kid I remember seeing a billboard with a picture of a guy wearing a cowboy hat and it said who shot J.R.? and also I remember seeing a lot of people wearing shirts asking the same thing. So my question is did they ever catch the guy that shot J.R. and if yes was he a cowboy too? I think that's all the questions I have for now. I don't know how long it would take to find the answers but whatever. You can just tell Josh's computer, Darnell knows where to find me no hurry though. Oh wait one more thing. Do they still make honeycomb cereal and if so where can I buy it? That's from my brother Earl he wanted me to ask you that. OK that's all I guess.
Joy turns on the webcam and says hello to everyone. She shows a box full of stuff from her trailer which includes walkie talkies and her "Prettiest Pretty Princess" statue which she wants to sell on eBay under Crap from Joy's trailer.
Hey there I just wanted to give a little what's up to my world wide web homies, oh and if you haven't heard yet and your one of Josh's friends he's dead sorry, and if he told you he was kidnapped that was a lie. Any who I took his computer and since I already played Ms. Pac-man and watched a bunch of stupid videos of people lip syncing I figured I try to sell some crap. These are some walkie talkies that we used to make a lady think she was talking to God, they still have batteries in them so I expect a good price people. This is my "Prettiest Pretty Princess" statue, I really wanted it but it doesn't keep me warm at night like let's say $500 would or best offer. I'm also thinking about selling Earl's lotto ticket, Randy's rainbow sugar bits nightlight and a bunch of other crap. You can find it all on eBay under "Crap from Joy's trailer". Peace out dorks.
Catalina waves hello and says she knows what the internet is for. Then she walks over to a CD player, puts on some Spannish music and starts dancing. She ends by kicking over a chair, blows a kiss and walks out of the frame.
Hello America and all countries that have computers, some of my friends are confused about what the internet is for but I know exataly what it is for. Goodnight computer nerds, I love you.
Darnell turns the webcam wearing fake eyebrows, mustache and glasses to release a video on the internet apologizing to the members his rap group apologizing for leaving and what he said to them last time he saw them. He tells them he can't wait to hear them on the radio and turns off the webcam.
In a few minutes I'm going to release this video on to the internet, there it has the opportunity to inform and alter the zeitgeist. But I'm not interested in that right now. Right now I want to pass a message to Dangerous Mouse Pad, Professor Ziplock and Big Baby Tooth. I want you guys to know that Harry Monroe did not abandon the rap group by choice. He was forced to leave due to matters outside his control. Professor Ziplock, Harry wants you to know that despite what he said at his last practice he doesn't think your beats are under debrsative and underwhelming. Dangerous Mouse Pad, Harry hopes you finally got a pad for that cellphone that's shaped like your junk and Big Baby Tooth, Harry's sorry for freaking out on you that one time. But he still thinks your theory on Jackie O JFK is a bit far fetched. Harry wants you all to know that he thinks of you every time he listens to the radio and he can't wait for the day he finally hear's a "Di-minted Knight Stand" song on there. Peace.
Earl & RandyEdit
Earl and Randy sit down at a table in the Crab Shack. For several moments they simply sit there and stare at the camera. They sing a strange made made of no English for around 30 seconds. As they finish Randy quickly sits up and steps out of frame. A few seconds later Earl follows.